Anger dissipation is critical on the road to victory in the courtroom and in life. As a Fairfax criminal lawer, I know how much easier that anger dissipation is said than done, but also know the benefits of applying the practice and principals of taijiquan/ t’ai chi ch’uan — including relaxing and sinking — with every potential anger-inducing event.
Anger dissipation lesson one- All humans are at risk of getting angry
No matter how many years of wisdom and experience we obtain, someone remains around the corner ready to test our ability to remain powerfully non-angry. One of my recent tests was a courthouse criminal clerk staffmember who did not seem to care about criminal defendants nor about fulfilling his job duties other than doing the bare minimum to keep his job; or maybe he does not feel capable and acts out from frustration. Along the way, he was careless, flippant and ever-interrupting of legitimate questions, and then answering questions that were not being asked, due to his responding mid-question.
My business always remains focusing on improving myself, and inspiring others to shine by my shining with them, and not regressing into weakness-causing anger, nor expending too much energy getting irritated by underperformance and malperformance, nor trying to improve others.
Fairfax criminal lawyer on anger dissipation being best learned through facing the eye of the potentially anger-causing storm
I can pontificate as much as I want that it makes as little sense to get angry at a trespassing human being as at an attacking rabid dog, a hurricane or a tidalwave. However, the rabid dog, hurricane and tidalwave ordinarily only strike once and cannot form evil plans. The ill-intentioned or uncaring or dangerously incapable human being is able to attack again and again, and plan vicious attacks.
Consequently, when such challenges as this particular courthouse clerk face me, at my best I remember never to be upset when others actually or apparently turn on me; to own the moment; to transcend anger and embrace wonder; to keep my friends close and my adversaries closer, through powerful and listening engagement; to relax and sink away the opponent’s annoying actions, and to embrace and know threats in the process of sending them on their diminished and weakened path; to recognize and engage my arising anger so that it more quickly diminishes and dissipates; not to come down tough on myself for letting anger arise; having powerful compassion for me and my adversaries; and remembering that getting angry feeds into my adversary’s power.
Time passage also works; what threatens to cause deep anger in the moment often becomes less anger-producing after time passes, providing a more sensible perspective of the situation. Also important is to own time, physical balance, mental balance, and spiritual balance when anger starts approaching.
Every challenge can be turned into an opportunity. Each person posing a seeming challenge is another opportunity for me to remain above the line, with curiosity and good listening (to the words spoken and between the lines) to understand what is ticking with me, the other person and the situation, so that I can better deal with the present situation and future similar situations. Getting angry misses the gold that can be found even when feces are being flung. Getting angry keeps us stuck from transcending forward into quantum leaps in our progress in and satisfaction with life.
How to keep facing the ill-willed adversary?
Consequently, what should I do about the courthouse clerk who does not appear to belong in his job? Once I know that a courthouse clerk does not belong in his or her job but will remain, I can either seek to work with another clerk, or else can recognize whom I am dealing with, and move on. To do otherwise, is a debilitating distraction.
Powerful non-anger is always the way to proceed on the path to victory.
Fairfax, Virginia, criminal lawyer Jonathan L. Katz practices and applies the martial art of taijiquan for more effectively and victoriously handling challenges in and out of court. To discuss your case with Jon, please call his staff at 703-383-1100 to schedule a confidential appointment.