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Much ado about Fred Willard’s alleged Onanism in an adult theater

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People go to adult movie theaters to watch completely explicit sexual activity in many forms. Those who want to enter do. Those who do not, do not. Let free expression reign.

Assuming for argument’s sake that Fred Willard — whom I loved in Fernwood Tonite (and mainly lost track of him after that, other than his excellent performance in WallE), did in fact expose and perhaps even manipulate his genitals in an adult theater. That is no more offensive — if even offensive — than what likely was showing on the movie theater’s screen. Irony of ironies.

Perhaps the cops were trying to catch alleged obscenity, or people engaging in prostitution or two-person sexual activity in the theater, found no such thing, and sought to show they were not at the pizza joint rather than surveilling the theater by nabbing Fred Willard when finding nobody else to nab. What a low point for government and its civil servants.

Does anybody actually believe that Onanism does not frequently happen when people watch adult films? We do not need studies to know that masturbation in private can have beneficial effects, including providing an outlet for people without sexual partners that might otherwise go towards antisocial behavior, to relieve stress, and to not spread sexually transmitted diseases.

Puritanism still invades too much of our society and government. Why else are bare women’s breasts criminalized in most of the nation, without banning bared men’s breasts (even those who merit wearing mansears)? Why do any laws and judges allow convictions for engaging in Onanism in adult theaters displaying onscreen even more sexually explicit images than that?

Nobody should have arrested Fred Willard. This whole matter should have been a non-story. However, it was made into a story by the time PBS dismissed him from the current television show he was narrating, within 24 hours of Mr. Willard’s arrest, apparently influenced by fear of Congress members who are not friendly to public television.

Please show your moral support for Fred Willard. You can send him a supportive Twitter message at https://twitter.com/Fred_Willard. You can contact him through the MOHOS website. You can buy his material.

Sending all good karma and vibes to Fred Willard.