Persuading through being compassionate towards all, including oneself
Recently, after being in a federal courthouse that bans cellphones for several hours, I left the parking garage and parked on the side of the road to check emails and make phone calls. While on the phone with my assistant, a car pulled to my side, and the driver insistently told me to make room for him, saying I was taking up more than one space.
I told him I was on the phone and would make room for him, He repeated for me to move my car to make room for him. I replied: “If you want someone to do you a favor, you might want to speak nicely.” He replied: “Listen, move the f**king car.” I replied: “Are you going to be an a**hole today?” I made room. He parked.
I finally came to my senses that my engaging this driver in conversation and the dozens was of no benefit to me, him, nor to anyone else. I drove off to another parking space to avoid any further confrontation.
When we are truly grounded, our feeling of contentment cannot be reversed so easily by others and by outside forces. My inspiration to follow that path is reinforced by a great quote I recently saw from Wayne Dyer, apparently from his Ten Secrets for Success and Inner Peace, which includes:
“You can’t give love away to others if you don’t have any for yourself. You can’t show respect for others if you lack self-respect. You can’t give happiness away if you feel unhappy. And of course, the reverse is true.” “This concept is simplified by a description of squeezing an orange.”
I once asked my friend and peace mentor Jun Yasuda if she ever gets angry. She does, perhaps at least out of frustration with the lack of better progress towards world peace. We all can get angry. The goal is to reduce and dissipate the anger — which usually arises from fear — and to express the anger in positive ways.
By being kind and compassionate to ourselves and others, we are more persuasive, in and out of court.