Mar 04, 2015 The magic of eliminating a**hole from your vocabulary
It can be tempting for me to think of various prosecutors, police, and even some judges as a**holes. However, if a hurricane causes exorbitant damage to your home, do you call the hurricane an a**hole? No. If a dog bites a chunk of flesh from your leg, do you call the dog an a**hole? No. Then why do so many people, including myself, so frequently call others a**holes to ourselves and out loud? Is it because humans can form sinister plans and actions and know the difference between right and wrong, whereas a hurricane does not and cannot do so? Is it because it is easier to fault others for their errors than to look within ourselves about what we may have missed in our efforts to inspire better action by the human who we now are calling an a**hole?
Once we call someone an a**hole, we have thrown in the towel, rather than having recognized that the person who crosses — or seems to cross — our path one moment, might be a great ally the next moment (and might cross our path again after acting as an ally).
There is no out there for the mind. We are more powerful than we think when we get disenchanted or angry at despicable actions, even when those actions descend to the level of violence, racism, and other severely destructive actions. Circumstances are neutral. When we stay grounded in trying times rather than flying off the handle, we remain at our strongest to turn things around.
The possibilities are always present to turn around a person crossing our path. For an example, watch an audience at a talent show, at one moment moribund and irritated at a talentless performer who does not even realize how talentless s/he is, and at the next moment in full ecstasy over the next act that is so talented as to be worth one hundred times the talent show’s admission price.
We are not always non-contributors to the action when someone crosses our path. The more we clear out our internal gunk, the less we will be a variable in causing that path crossing. I am not ready to accept that my recent complaining about the elevator music at a restaurant during lunchtime was responsible for my facing awful local singing "talent" at the next restaurant for dinner. I do know that if I had not gotten so irritated at this string of low-quality so-called music at both restaurants, I may have had my bearings better together by deflating its effect on me, convincing the lunch restaurant to change stations, and giving the singer some cash to go buy something at a store, so that he would no longer be singing.
Others sometimes react to us like a talent show audience reacts to a talentless performer. We have the ability to turn that around and to get closer to being the star performer, sometimes quickly turning around the other person. However, when we are ready to call someone else an a**hole, what are the chances that the other person is thinking the same of us? The magic mirror takes hold (see here, too, on the magic mirror).
Anger and irritation at others is a downward spiral. If an opponent throws dung at me, it is better for me to deflect, deflate, transform, or disinfect the dung, or to use it as fertilizer for my growth. I need to transcend anger and roles, so as to persuade on the soul level.