Recently, I asked a police officer a few very direct questions about his actions with my client. Had I asked the questions more gently, I may have gotten no less a beneficial result, but I asked them as I did. The officer got irritated. He used a tone of voice that may have been calculated to intimidate me away from my questions. Intimidation has no place in my vocabulary unless I am intimidating someone else as part of a plan that fits the rules governing lawyers’ practice. I stuck to my guns and my questions.

I have a choice when a police officer is getting irate at me. I can welcome the gems that are interspersed with the cop’s foul tongue, like panning for gold. I can tell the cop through words and/or body language that I do not accept being spoken to in such a way and even that such manner of speaking is unbecoming the officer’s badge. I can talk over the police officer. I can walk away.

When I deeply listen to what is said and not said, to the tone of voice, to the body language, to the officer’s persona, to the officer’s fears and areas of confidence and pretend confidence, and to the entire situation, I am gathering intelligence. The condescending police officer may even be surprised to see my happy calmness during his verbal assaults, perhaps not realizing that I prefer gathering relevant intelligence to receiving no intelligence, and perhaps not realizing that with non-duality, getting upset at another’s words has no place in the litigation battle.

In the taijiquan martial art that I have been practicing daily at my ideal since 1994, listening to and knowing our opponent is so important that it is essential to be in physical contact with our opponent at all times, so that we are physically listening to the opponent and to their possible next moves. To lose that physical contact for even a moment can be damaging.

Of course, at some point the opponent’s words can get so vile that merely listening rather than acting, is not the right option, at least when third parties are hearing those words.

Non-judging is powerful. Non-anger — where anger ordinarily if not always is accompanied by judging — is also powerful. When a police officer, other opposing witness, prosecutor, judge or anyone else holler at me, that can be a good time to incorporate RAIN: Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Non-Identify.  

More important is powerfully to relax and sink and to battle for victory, always, everywhere, and with everyone.